Beverages★ ★

You'll love the smell of Grapalm in the morning! Cut a wide swath through the hunger jungle with this classic jellied treat, back by popular demand!

PRICE PER 55-GALLON DRUM

$19.08*

FUN FACTS!

Grapalm™ (grape jellied petroleum) is a registered trademark of Tastee-Snax Munitions, Inc.!

The name "Grapalm" is derived from the words "grape" and "palmitate"! Grapalm™ is 46% polystyrinated sugar, 33% grape concentrate, 21% benzene and 100% delicious!

Technically, there is no proven link between Grapalm™ and leukemia!

*prices subject to crude oil market price fluctuations

Enjoy the finest beverage mother nature has to offer. Now in value-paks of six.

35-Gallon Fun Pouches

$100 per unit

MU-CH-21 Optional Modification

Standard issue MU-42 can be combined with theobroma cacao additive. This additive is commonly procured from equatorial regions in a non-volatile state. After import the additive is fermented, heated, and pulverized into a soluble powder form. This powder form is then dissolved homogenously throughout the MU-42 solution.

When life gives you lemons, machine them into lemonade.

The classic American beverage is back! Join the coalition of the chilling!

(discontinued pending investigation)

DISCLOSURE

A class-action lawsuit has been initiated against TASTEE-SNAX MUNITIONS, INC., manufacturers of Agent Orange Julius™. ARMYBAKESALE.COM and THE UNITED STATES ARMY have been named as co-defendants. If you believe yourself eligible to be named as a co-plaintiff, you may register as such by contacting Peggy Weintraub, director of legal affairs at Amnesty International, by phoning (212) 807-8400 or visiting www.amnesty.org and downloading the correct forms. Also, co-plaintiffs are advised to refrain from consuming Grapalm™.